One can have the skill of mind over matter, but what happens when that person's mind is no longer enough to deal with the things at hand. When compensation has lost its power, when positive thinking has found itself smashed beneath someone's shoe, when meditation is interrupted by a hurricane of distraction, it is at this point mind can no longer control matter(s). What then does matter over mind look like?
Now is now, not tomorrow.
WYSIWYG - What You See Is What You Get.
Take one day at a time.
With adversity we can tolerate and accept the reality of the situation.
Forces someone to look more at the truth of what's going on rather than attending to derailed thinking patterns.
SIDE NOTE as I'm getting tired... if you move your hands over one space while typing you instantly code your words and... mp pmr lmped yjr foggrtrvr. pj smf O ;pbr S,smfs - no one knows the difference, oh and ... (you figure out the rest)
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
and then...
Saturday August 8 at 4:00 pm I drove past death's door
I was driving on I-26 Eastbound near "malfunction junction" just above the city.
Four total lanes
Far left - Lane 1
next lane over - Lane 2
then - Lane 3
Far right lane - Lane 4
00:00:00
I was in the far left lane <200 feet ahead in lane 2 was a red SUV driving normally.
00:00:00
There was a silver car in lane 3 "neck and neck" with the red SUV.
00:00:02
The silver car unaware of it's surroundings proceeded to merge into the red SUV.
00:00:04
Instantly it became aware and swerved into lane 3 then to lane 4.
00:00:06
Compensating for running some people off the road slightly behind in lane 4 it proceeded to jeer left.
00:00:06
By this time the red SUV had proceeded to accelerate out of harms way.
00:00:06
I (Devin) was still proceeding at a rate of at least 60MPH in Lane 1.
00:00:08
Silver car had at this point made it into lanes 1 and 2 jeering right for a final time.
00:00:09
All car's behind this event had slowed down pulled over and or passed the swerving danger.
00:00:10
This is the final compensation the silver car made that cut it's destination short.
00:00:11
I Devin witnessed the angle and speed at which the car was proceeding towards the median (lane 1) proceeded with a glance that barely offered my neck movement into lane 2, with this quick judgment I was aware that I would not meet impact with the silver car within reasonable physics this world offers. At this point there was HIGH congestion of cars behind the abnormal flow disruption. I made my way into lane 2 with no further cause of disruption or other-automobile contact.
00:00:12
This is literally the moment of collision it was literally <08 seconds from beginning to end of the flow disruption (00:00:04 - 00:00:12). I was within touching distance from the back left corner of the silver car as I past it, enveloping upon itself colliding with an unmovable concrete median glass spraying, plastic flying and an unparalleled eerie sound of metal instantly changing form. I witnessed in less than a blink of an eye's time a million tiny details. My eyes naturally closed for sake of protection as one of a thousand thoughts went through my head "wouldn't it really stink if a piece of glass went in my eye even after I had safely avoided potential death of myself or another" by the time my eyes opened I had made it 5 feet past the wreckage and was looking back seeing again the deployed airbags, and carnage to a degree I've never seen through it's process.
00:00:15 - 00:00:20
At this point I regain cognition and am tending my rear view mirror I look to my left and ahead, and realize I had slowed down considerably enough that the closest cars ahead were about 350 feet away, and each moment I drove the cars behind me continued to stay in place some pulled over on the side of the road none passed the mess, all had been halted. I realized with several thought's ("wow I'm like a NASCAR driver" "I made it out alive" "God you are so good" "Why me" "Thank you God" "I wonder if I'm going to get PTSD" "What could have happened" "Man that really would have messed up my day" "How selfish to think such a thing" "Lord God protect whoever just did that, do not serve them with the consequences of their unawareness if for no other reason than my asking and guilty selfishness" "Thank you for caring enough about me even when I seemingly overlook care for others")
00:00:20 - 03:00:00
I spend the next 3 hours filtering through the fears, anxieties, and pain of witnessing such a tragic sight, worries of PTSD secretly planting itself inside of me, or some anxiety or phobia related disorder hiding it's ways into the dark corner's of my mind. With time and process the anxiety subsides.
03:00:00 - 51:41:00
This brings it to the now, I have driven 3 separate occasions on the highway and otherwise, experiencing heightened anxiety and awareness of my surroundings, each occasion involved slight overreaction to subtle movements vehicles within close proximity made. I am and was aware of these over reactions causing fear within, and subdue this with rational thinking. Driving is dangerous, there is no promise, I am responsible for myself and how I respond and react to any occurrence of flow disruption, and more than anything God is in control of everything.
Thanks for reading, I recognize it could be worse if I were the man in the silver car, and also realize that this is over thinking an incident, but it's my way of processing. I searched all possible databases, and found no record of the wreck, all related records involved those who passed away, I believe due to this, the person in the silver car is alive and no one was seriously injured.
-Devin
I was driving on I-26 Eastbound near "malfunction junction" just above the city.
Four total lanes
Far left - Lane 1
next lane over - Lane 2
then - Lane 3
Far right lane - Lane 4
00:00:00
I was in the far left lane <200 feet ahead in lane 2 was a red SUV driving normally.
00:00:00
There was a silver car in lane 3 "neck and neck" with the red SUV.
00:00:02
The silver car unaware of it's surroundings proceeded to merge into the red SUV.
00:00:04
Instantly it became aware and swerved into lane 3 then to lane 4.
00:00:06
Compensating for running some people off the road slightly behind in lane 4 it proceeded to jeer left.
00:00:06
By this time the red SUV had proceeded to accelerate out of harms way.
00:00:06
I (Devin) was still proceeding at a rate of at least 60MPH in Lane 1.
00:00:08
Silver car had at this point made it into lanes 1 and 2 jeering right for a final time.
00:00:09
All car's behind this event had slowed down pulled over and or passed the swerving danger.
00:00:10
This is the final compensation the silver car made that cut it's destination short.
00:00:11
I Devin witnessed the angle and speed at which the car was proceeding towards the median (lane 1) proceeded with a glance that barely offered my neck movement into lane 2, with this quick judgment I was aware that I would not meet impact with the silver car within reasonable physics this world offers. At this point there was HIGH congestion of cars behind the abnormal flow disruption. I made my way into lane 2 with no further cause of disruption or other-automobile contact.
00:00:12
This is literally the moment of collision it was literally <08 seconds from beginning to end of the flow disruption (00:00:04 - 00:00:12). I was within touching distance from the back left corner of the silver car as I past it, enveloping upon itself colliding with an unmovable concrete median glass spraying, plastic flying and an unparalleled eerie sound of metal instantly changing form. I witnessed in less than a blink of an eye's time a million tiny details. My eyes naturally closed for sake of protection as one of a thousand thoughts went through my head "wouldn't it really stink if a piece of glass went in my eye even after I had safely avoided potential death of myself or another" by the time my eyes opened I had made it 5 feet past the wreckage and was looking back seeing again the deployed airbags, and carnage to a degree I've never seen through it's process.
00:00:15 - 00:00:20
At this point I regain cognition and am tending my rear view mirror I look to my left and ahead, and realize I had slowed down considerably enough that the closest cars ahead were about 350 feet away, and each moment I drove the cars behind me continued to stay in place some pulled over on the side of the road none passed the mess, all had been halted. I realized with several thought's ("wow I'm like a NASCAR driver" "I made it out alive" "God you are so good" "Why me" "Thank you God" "I wonder if I'm going to get PTSD" "What could have happened" "Man that really would have messed up my day" "How selfish to think such a thing" "Lord God protect whoever just did that, do not serve them with the consequences of their unawareness if for no other reason than my asking and guilty selfishness" "Thank you for caring enough about me even when I seemingly overlook care for others")
00:00:20 - 03:00:00
I spend the next 3 hours filtering through the fears, anxieties, and pain of witnessing such a tragic sight, worries of PTSD secretly planting itself inside of me, or some anxiety or phobia related disorder hiding it's ways into the dark corner's of my mind. With time and process the anxiety subsides.
03:00:00 - 51:41:00
This brings it to the now, I have driven 3 separate occasions on the highway and otherwise, experiencing heightened anxiety and awareness of my surroundings, each occasion involved slight overreaction to subtle movements vehicles within close proximity made. I am and was aware of these over reactions causing fear within, and subdue this with rational thinking. Driving is dangerous, there is no promise, I am responsible for myself and how I respond and react to any occurrence of flow disruption, and more than anything God is in control of everything.
Thanks for reading, I recognize it could be worse if I were the man in the silver car, and also realize that this is over thinking an incident, but it's my way of processing. I searched all possible databases, and found no record of the wreck, all related records involved those who passed away, I believe due to this, the person in the silver car is alive and no one was seriously injured.
-Devin
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